🌿 How to speak directly and in Finnish: refusals, praise and criticism without drama

If you have communicated with Finns, you have probably noticed that they speak calmly, without "twists and turns" or dramatic gestures — but quite directly. This is not coldness, but a way to save time and spare the nerves of everyone involved in the conversation.

In this article, we'll look at how to:

● politely say "no" so that no one is offended

● give praise in Finnish — honestly, but without overdoing it;

● take the initiative in a group;

● respond to criticism that sometimes sounds a little "harsher" than you are used to.

🤚 "No" in Finnish: short, clear, without excuses

The Finnish model of refusal is a direct but calm message. Instead of long explanations, one or two honest phrases.

Examples:

● “Nyt ei oikein sovi.” — “It’s not convenient right now.”

● “Valitettavasti en ehdi.” — “Unfortunately, I don't have time.”

● “Kiitos kutsusta, mutta joudun jättämään väliin.” — “Thank you for the invitation, but I have to pass.”

What is important:

● no long excuses — they tend to make the situation more awkward;

● You can add "plus":
“Ehkä joku toinen kerta?” — “Maybe another time?”;

● Keep your tone even — without irritation or nervous laughter.

If you are refused just as curtly, it is not personal animosity, but the norm of communication.

🌱 Praise: specifics instead of enthusiasm

Finns do not really trust general statements like "You are amazing!". Precise and calm compliments work much better:

● “Pidin todella sinun esityksestäsi, erityisesti siitä osiosta X.” — “I really liked your performance, especially part X.”

● “Hyvin hoidettu.” — “Well done.”

● “Tämä oli tosi hyvä idea.” — “That was a very good idea.”

The main rule is to praise for a specific action, not in an abstract way. Excessive emotionality ("Brilliant! The best project of my life!") can be perceived with caution.

💡 Initiative in a group: action, not show

In Finland, responsibility is valued over loud rhetoric. If you want to show initiative:

1. Formulate a specific proposal:
   “Ehdotan, että kokeilemme ensin tätä versiota.” — “I suggest we try this version first.”
2. Show your willingness to do something yourself:
   “Voin hoitaa tämän osan.” — “I can take care of this part.”

There is no need for long introductions or motivational speeches. A short proposal + action is what constitutes "leadership in Finnish".

🧊 Criticism: why it sounds more direct (and what to do about it)

Finnish criticism often sounds shorter and harsher than in cultures where it is customary to soften phrases at length. Example:

● “Tämä ei oikein toimi.” — “This doesn't really work.”

● “Näin emme voi tehdä.” — “We can't do it this way.”

What helps:

● Don't take it as an "attack" — it's usually about the issue, not you.

● ask for clarification:
“Voisitko antaa esimerkin?” — “Can you give an example?”
“Mikä osa ei toimi mielestäsi?” — “Which part do you think isn’t working?”

In Finland, asking for specifics is seen as businesslike, not as an excuse.

🔚 How to politely end a conversation

Finns are fine with you clearly indicating the end of the conversation rather than just "disappearing into thin air".

Formulas:

● “Kiitos juttuseurasta, minun täytyy mennä nyt.” — “Thank you for talking, I have to go now.”

● “Oli kiva jutella, palaillaan.” — “It was nice talking to you, let's keep in touch/call each other.”

That's enough. No long monologues like "oh, sorry for leaving so suddenly."

✍️ Write down what you find most difficult — and what you already find easy

Let us know in the comments what situations in Finland you're most confused about: being rejected, getting criticism, people giving "dry" answers? Or, on the other hand, what did you like – when someone honestly said "no" or directly praised your work. Your stories will help other travellers and those just moving to Finland feel more confident.